My sister, Ginger, was taken into 5 hours of emergency open heart surgery during the night after suffering a massive stroke. Here she is just one month ago at our father's memorial gathering.
When I wrote extended family about it, asking for prayer, one of the responses was, "Our prayers are that Virginia will not have brain damage and will be alert and well following surgery...of course if the Lord wills."
It made me angry. I've been struggling for some time now what it means to pray in faith.
I don't recall ever reading in the Bible when someone asked Jesus to heal them that He ever said, "Oh wait, let me see if it is the Father's will" or "Sorry, it's just not in My will or my 'timing' to heal you right now." He pitied them and answered their cry of faith. I think we try too hard to cover our bases when He doesn't give us our requests (It must not be His will, or It must not be His timing), so we can blame it on Him rather than on our lack of faith.
He told us He would even move a mountain if we had miniscule faith. Why would He say such a thing? What kind of pointless prayer is that? Who needs a mountain to move? I don't think He meant it metaphorically either. Because Jesus scolded the disciples for their lack of faith on the sea of Galilee, I've been wondering if the winds and waves would have obeyed THEM if they commanded them (not timidly asked) just as Jesus did. And they didn't just accept it might be God's will for them to die right then. They cried out desperately to Jesus to rescue them. And He did, even after scolding them.
When I pray, I've begun to EXPECT God to answer. He's God. If I don't expect Him to answer, why do I pray at all? Why not expect Him to intervene when He went to all the trouble to give His own Son for us so we could be His family and cry out for His help in every area of life, not just repentance? HE wrote the promises in the Bible and scolded his disciples for not believing them. Do I believe Him? Do my prayers reflect that?
Does anything really move me to stop what I'm doing and devote myself to prayer? Do I honestly care enough to cry out desperately to Him? Are all my times of talking to the Lord only "quiet times?" No, today I will have a "loud time" with the Lord. Praising Him that He has the power and the desire to answer prayer and asking Him to heal my sister, Ginger. He told me to cast my cares on Him because He cares for me. Will He scold me for being disrespectful or be grateful that I finally "get it?" I honestly don't know. But I also don't recall Him ever saying in the Bible, "You ask too much of Me" or "Why are you always asking for my help?" or "Stop whining! and leave me alone!"
God will do whatever He wants, but that won't stop me from banging on his door and begging Him to give me my heart's desire, and be terribly and unashamedly disappointed if He doesn't. I won't leave Him, but I won't pray timidly and try to cover my bases to explain why He's sometimes silent.
Sorry for the diatribe, but I'm feeling kind of raw right now.
